Best Sex Toys for Two or More: Designed for Every Body, Every Bond
With Valentine’s Day coming up, I wanted to share some ideas as a sex therapist and former sex educator because my wonderful queer clients often ask me what sex toys they can use with their partners for shared pleasure. I usually say, “That’s a great question! Let me show you some of my favorite toys.” I also suggest visiting sex shops with knowledgeable, LGBTQ+ affirming staff, but I’ll cover that in another post. For now, let’s focus on some products that can help you and your partner enjoy pleasure together. These recommendations are a bit spicier than usual, as I want to highlight inclusivity, diversity, and creativity.
Let me start by talking to my fellow vulva and clit owners. This toy is from Dame, a company owned and founded by women, which I think is really cool. The toy is called Eva, a wearable vibrator that sits on top of the clit and stays in place within the vulva, so you can use it hands-free. Whether you use it solo or with a partner(s), this toy can help create some great experiences. It’s also easy to use as a handheld for nipple, outer anal, or perineum stimulation. I definitely recommend it.
https://dame.com/products/eva-ii?variant=41346728984759
Most people know about double-sided dildos. If you’re curious, I say go for it. The main issue is that many aren’t long enough for two people to use at once, or they’re too floppy to work well. One of the best options I’ve found is from New York Toy Collective. Their dildos keep their shape, feel soft like skin, and are made of silicone. They also came up with a double-sided suction cup, so you can connect two of their dildos and make your own custom double-sided toy. A customizable double-sided dildo is pretty unique, and it means you, your friends, and partner(s) can have a great time together.
https://newyorktoycollective.com/product/double-sided-suction-cup/
Another suggestion that could take things up a notch is a double-sided glass dildo. Glass toys are smooth, adjust to your body temperature, and you can even warm them up or cool them down. The one I recommend has two different ends, designed to stimulate either the g-spot or p-spot, or you can just have fun experimenting with both.
https://www.biird.co/products/ohwii
I couldn’t finish this sex toy article without mentioning strap-ons. Mutual stimulation is definitely possible with them. If your strap-on has extra material, you can add a vibrating butt plug, panty vibrator, or any vibe that feels good for you. You can even let your partner control the remote if you like. For more traditional strap-ons with less material, there are dildos designed with ridges on the back to provide extra stimulation for female-bodied people using the strap-on.
Let’s talk about kink. Some people really enjoy being gagged or gagging their partners. There is a toy that combines gagging and penetration, allowing everyone involved to enjoy stimulation. This silicone gag and dildo is a ball gag with a dildo attached to the outside, so the person wearing it can perform penetrative acts on their partner. Depending on the situation or the relationship between partners, this can feel pleasurable, exciting, playful, or intense.
Valentine’s Day isn’t about following a script. It’s about choosing each other, over and over, in ways that feel right for you—no matter how playful, imperfect, or tender. Sex toys can be a way to explore curiosity, give yourself permission to play, or remind you that pleasure doesn’t have to fit any one idea to matter. Whether you’re trying something new or enjoying an old favorite, the real magic comes from the trust, laughter, and closeness you share. This Valentine’s Day, let pleasure be queer, shared, and truly your own. I’m Julia Schiffman, your local sex therapist and a Certified AASECT Sex Therapist, offering individual and couples counseling for the LGBTQ+ community.
